12 Principles of

Openness

Know my intention: learn & grow versus protect & defend. In any situation I can choose my intention. I get back what I put out. If I choose defensiveness, I will get it back to me.
Accountable I: I speak only for myself; I control only my own actions.
Go first: If I lead with openness and truth telling, others will follow. If I want change, I'll go first.
Active listening: Connection comes from being present to those with whom I communicate.
Congruency: Trust develops when my thoughts, words feelings and actions are aligned.
Check my Story "Truth" is somewhere between my truth and the other person's. Before taking action, verify that my perceptions are accurate.
1st truth 1st: Sharing my thoughts and feelings in the moment (not about the future or past) creates a connection from which trust can be built.
Levels of openness - tell more truth: My fear of feeling ignored, humiliated or rejected is the root cause of my defensive behaviors.
No blaming or shaming-work to understand: Harshness is the enemy of awareness. What is my part? I cannot change you and your part; I can change only myself.
No "buts": Positive feedback is negated when followed by "but..." "And..." builds on any previous statement.
Be aware of my defenses: Awareness of my defense systems allows me to create an environment of safety within which to be authentic.
1% rule: There is always a kernel of truth: Considering that some part of what is said might be true, allows me to receive feedback with less defensiveness.